4 Flawsome Ways to Be Your True Self
Be your true self… I am sure you have heard it million times and maybe you already read some tips on how to embrace yourself. But the problem with all those tips is that they provide general information. I am going to share my own experience that will hopefully help you to ditch the crowd and finally welcome your own life’s flow.
I live in the society where everyone – literally – tries to teach me how to live my life. Oftentimes, I had to give up and follow their advice because of enormous pressure. I did it to please them, believing they would leave me alone as soon as I did what they wanted. But it never happened.
Whenever I meet my relatives, neighbors, or friends, everyone starts telling me what I am doing wrong in my life and what I must accomplish before my 30th birthday. I know I have my drawbacks, some body flaws, and life problems, but I am a human being who is not perfect and not striving to be the one.
If you are struggling with the society’s pressure, self-shaming, or you are feeling empty or depressed right now, read on to cheer yourself up and fall in love with your true self.
1. You have your own clock
You must receive a higher education before you hit 22 and find a well-paid job before 25. You must get married before you turn 27 and give birth to a baby before 30. You must travel around the world. You must buy a house and a car. You must pay off your debts.
There are too many musts and other people have more plans for your life than you do. I was raised this way. I knew I must do that and that before I hit my XXs. Each time I failed to meet that deadline, I felt horribly disappointed and depressed.
Does it sound familiar? Hold on for a minute. Why do you have to live according to someone elses’ instructions? It is your life and you have your own clock. Even if you don’t buy a car before your 40s or do not get married before your 50s, there is nothing wrong with you. It is your life. Have your own plans for it and let others know about them.
2. Love your body
I was born overweight, but quickly lost those pounds during my teen years. When I hit my early 20s, I lost more pounds due to stress, overthinking, hypersensitivity, and family issues. I have spent half my life worrying about my weight and even still hear, “You must put on pounds asap.” Okay, I know my genetics and everyone in my family was slim and trim till the 30s, so why should I body shame myself?
Body shaming is one of the biggest problems of the modern world. People seem to never be satisfied with anyone’s body. Just check your Facebook feed and read comments. “She is overweight.” “She is too thin.” “She has small breasts.” “Her breasts are too big.”
No matter your body shape, weight, and flaws, embrace your body and love it with your whole heart. Protect it from others and stay away from those who are trying to make you hate your body. It is okay to work on it, but avoid body shaming at all costs.
3. Embrace your traits
We all have positive and negative traits. Someone talks or swears too much while others stay silent. Some people can express their feelings openly while others prefer to show them in a hidden way.
Unless you are well aware of your negative traits, do not sweat too much about them. Again, no one is perfect. Work on your drawbacks but do not let others bring you down because of them. Most importantly, do not let yourself belittle you and prevent you from doing the things you love.
People will never stop talking or criticizing you, even if you become perfect. So, stay your true self and spend more time with those who accept you the way you are. If someone treats you badly, it is because you allow them to do it. You allow them to be in your life and slowly ruin it.
4. Do what makes you happy
Do you love dancing but think you are too old for starting a class? Do you want to live a child-free life until your 40s but dread that others will think you are infertile? Do you want to try a hobby that you are sure your family will not approve? Do you want to go vegan but you are afraid to experience the lack of understanding?
Honestly, I almost always do the things that neither my family nor my partner or friends like or approve. When I declared I am a vegetarian after trying to hide this fact for years, I had to deal with tons of negativity. Even now, they are still trying to convince me that a vegetarian diet is dangerous.
Apart from my eating habits, my family, partner, and friends dislike my job and my daily schedule. Everyone is trying to convince me to quit my job. Friends do not like the music I listen and my partner does not like my habit of feeding every bird in the garden. But you know what? I absolutely ignore them all and do everything that makes me smile and happy. It sounds selfish, but everyone wants to be happy and I spent too much time pleasing others and ruining my happiness.
If someone dislikes your hobby, job, lifestyle, whatever, it is their problem, not yours. Leave them with their problem and keep enjoying your life. All those things help you stay your true self.
It is so hard to realize that you can’t please everyone and people will keep criticizing you forever – no matter what you do. But staying your true self is important. You are a miracle and you are awesome. If someone thinks otherwise, kick them out of your life. That’s my major tip for you today
By
K. Jagadeesh
Psychologists and international Author
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