Monday, 10 August 2015

7 Efficient Ways to Become a Magnet


7 Efficient Ways to Become a Magnet


Have you ever met a happy, sociable and funny person that you want to be friends with? These people are always popular among the others. If you had a choice between communicating with someone cheerful and confident or someone sad and diffident whom would you choose? Of course everyone will join the first type of person to speak to. If you also want to be belong to that type, here you have a few easy ways to become a magnet that`ll make your social status higher, your relationships more successful and your life happier in general…Efficient Ways to Become a Magnet

1. Make efforts

Successful people always attract attention to themselves so if you want to be a magnet, it`s great for you to achieve success. We sometimes can`t understand why successful people have everything they need in their lives. It may seem that they`ve got everything in a day but the truth is that it`s the result of a long hard work. An Olympic champion has been training a lot, a film star has made lots of efforts before getting the first leading role and you should also make huge efforts to become successful and to be a magnet.

2. Be confident

Confident people can persuade anyone and you just can`t stop staring at the person of this type when they`re delivering their speech. They can easily attract everyone they want and sometimes even those they don`t want to attract. Explore yourself and get rid of the fear to say what you want to say. When you`ll be confident, other people will notice you even when you`ll be apart from the crowd.

3. Be sociable

Modern humans are all about socializing. Having healthy and strong relationships is highly important if you`re going to become a magnet. When you pay enough attention to your relationship and keep in touch with your family, you develop yourself as a sociable person as well. You`ll face no difficulties when making friends. The life seems to be a light path when you can easily communicate with anyone you want, when you have good friends – besides, the more friends you have, the easier it`ll be for you to make new ones.

4. Be well-mannered

Do you like to speak with rude and impatient people? Everyone wants to be around good mannered person. A spitting guy who`s screaming something inappropriate will hardly become a magnet if only he doesn`t change his behavior, of course. You can use good manners as a powerful weapon. Try to master this art and people would like to be with you more and more often.

5. Look great

It`ll be easier for you to face the day if you look good. Looking good doesn`t mean that you need to buy expensive clothes. You just need to wear something comfortable that emphasizes your identity. Figure out your own style and follow it. Our confidence often depends on the appearance so you need to look the way you like yourself and don`t forget about your haircut as it can also be changed for the better one.

6. Practice smiling

Smiling is a sign of a strong independent person. Smiling cheerful people always attract the others with the light they spread around. You can easily meet new interesting people, make friends, start a strong relationship and live easier if you smile more often. A simple smile can make your life happy and fun if you`ll keep practicing it.

7. Use the possibilities

We want to be close to successful people. They are happy because they take every chance they meet on the way. Embrace all the opportunities you see. You`re offered to travel – go traveling as it`s a good experience. You`re offered to visit an interesting exhibition – go and visit it as you`ll get knowledge and it`s always useful. You need to take every chance to make the most out of life.
Being a magnet means attracting success, new interesting people and huge opportunities into your life. Therefore you need to be well dressed, say everything you want whenever you need it and you shouldn`t clinch to the crowd. We often take a lot of time and strength to look like someone we admire while our true potential reveals when we start being ourselves. What should you work on to become a magnet?
by
jagadeesh krishnan Psychologist and International Author
Mobile:+91-9841121780, 9543187772
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8 Self-Destructive Things to Avoid Saying Again

8 Self-Destructive Things to Avoid Saying Again


Most women tend to criticize themselves. All of us experienced the moments when it`s easier to define yourself as a miserable person when everything goes wrong. However, a strong independent woman should never do that. While it may be useful to make a constructive criticism, showering yourself with negative ‘compliments’ can completely ruin your self-esteem. Here’s what you should never say again if you want to live a happy life…Self-Destructive Things to Avoid Saying Again

1. I’ll never be successful/beautiful/happy

Never, ever say the adverb ‘never.’ Well yes, it`s impossible for all women to be as beautiful, successful and famous as Angelina Jolie, but there are much more important things in our life than beauty and fame. It may sound ridiculous, but you may be better than any other famous woman. You may have some unique skills or traits that no one has. And finally, you can be successful and happy whenever you want – the only thing you need is your desire.

2. I don`t deserve what I have

Think you`re not good enough to have great relationships, to be promoted or to have such a lovely family? But your boss loves your projects, your boyfriend can`t live without you and your parents do their best to make your life easier. How can you say you don`t deserve it all? Of course, you do! Actually, you deserve even more than you already have.

3. Ignore me

Probably, you are having a bad day and you want to spend some time alone, but it’s not a reason to say everyone, ‘Ignore me’ or ‘Leave me alone.’ When we say it, we simply want to show that we can deal with everything ourselves. But when you say so, you admit that you`re not worth of any treatment and care. Don’t say it again as people that are ready to help love you and do take care of you, so accept that precious attention.

4. I`m fat

Okay, you need to drop some pounds, yes, but you are not fat! Telling everyone that you are fat is a self-destructive habit. If you have such a habit then get rid of it immediately. We like to exaggerate our body`s flaws, but why not embrace them? Ditch all those strict diet plans, throw away weight loss supplements and stop spending hours in the gym. Instead, start eating healthier, aim to exercise regularly and get enough sleep each night. If needed, visit your doctor or nutritionist.

5. Everything I do or say is wrong

There were times when I believed that everything I said or did was completely wrong. I tried to keep silent when it was okay to speak up. I was afraid to do a mistake because I thought everyone would judge me for it. Now that I realize that perfectionism can ruin my whole life, I’m not afraid of mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while and there`s no reason to blame yourself for every single mistake you made or will make. Regard your mistake as a life lesson and make necessary conclusions out of them. Remember that nobody`s perfect and you can`t change the past so all you need to focus on is avoiding the same gaffes in future.

6. I`m not the only one who can do that

If you think so, you`re wrong. Once you do something in your unique manner, you shouldn`t care about how would someone else act in that situation. Maybe the other person would do the same but they would never do that exactly as you did it. Just stop pretending to have no right to be proud of yourself. You have incredible things and you can do anything in your own way.

7. It`s too early or late to follow my dreams

Regardless of your age, it’s not too early or late to follow your dreams. You can start learning a new language and travel around the world in your 60s or even 70s, or on the contrary, start a business in your 20s. Life is short, so if you want to do something, don`t wait. Even if you’ll fail, at least you try. People who aren’t afraid to follow their dreams are a lot happier and more successful.

8. I`m not good enough to do that

Believe in yourself and so will the others do. When we are asked to do something we have never done before, the easiest and the worst thing we can say is “I`m not good enough to do that”. But you should at least try. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you can accomplish any difficult task and reach any unreachable goal.
Many of us think that we don’t deserve to be happy and successful. But, in fact, every person deserves everything they want – you are no exception. Focus on your positive features, abilities and skills. Following your dreams may seem to be selfish, but it`s an illusion. Is it selfish to improve and develop yourself? I don`t think so because you become wiser and happier, therefore you`re not the only one who gain profit from your self-development. What’s your ‘favorite’ self-destructive phrase to say
by
jagadeesh krishnan Psychologist and International Author
Mobile:+91-9841121780, 9543187772
EmaiL: jagadeeshkri@gmail.com
my boooks
Web:http://www.bookbyte.com/searchresults.aspx?type=books&author=jagadeesh+krishnan
Web;http://issuu.com/home/publications
Web:
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Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy

Seven Forms of Non-Monogamy

Exploring the wide world of extra-dyadic sexual relationships.
In contemporary US culture, monogamy means two people agreeing to have sex only with each other and no one else. Classical monogamy – a single relationship between people who marry as virgins, remain sexually exclusive their entire lives, and become celibate upon the death of the partner – has been replaced by serial monogamy – a cycle in which people are sexually exclusive with each other for a period of time, break up, and then re-partner in another sexually exclusive relationship with a different person.
Non-monogamies, in contrast, are more diverse and vary by degrees of honesty, sexual openness, importance of rules/structure, and emotional connection. People who have non-monogamous relationships in the United States range from religious practitioners of polygyny involved in Islam or the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (Mormons) who are often personally and politically conservative, to practitioners of polyamory or relationship anarchy who tend to be personally and politically liberal or progressive. Especially among the more liberal groups, there is significant overlap with other unconventional subcultures such as Pagans, geeks, gamers, science fiction enthusiasts, and practitioners of BDSM (previously known as sadomasochism, also termed kinky sex or kinksters).
Woman in blue dress with her back to the camera, fingers crossed hidden behind
Source: google images

Cheating
Some people see any non-monogamous relationship as adulterous, regardless of whether or not both partners have consented to having sexual interactions outside the committed couple. I argue that transparency matters, and consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is qualitatively different from non-consensual non-monogamy, or cheating. The two relationship categories also have distinctly different outcomes for the people involved: not only do consensual non-monogamists try to tell each other the truth, but this greater communication has real impacts, such as greater rates of STI transmission among non-consensual non-monogamists(link is external) than among consensual non-monogamists. Many non-monogamists rely on honest communication to negotiate consensual agreements that allow a variety of ways to have multiple partners.
Even though contemporary society agrees that cheating is undesirable, people still do it regularly. Scholars estimate that approximately 20-25 percent of ever-married men and 10-15 percent of ever-married women admit to having an affair(link is external) at some point in their relationship. Cheating has gotten easier, as technology has expanded opportunities forinfidelity by helping us find our old high school crushes on Facebook or casual encounters on Craigslist and OKCupid. Defining cheating can be quite difficult because it may include a wide variety of behaviors that are not directly physical sex, from sending virtual flowers to video chatting on Skype, or a “chaste” lunch date with no physical contact but an emotionally intimate conversation fraught with repressed passion to paid phone sex with a professional.
Polygamy
Alongside (and even predating) monogamy, cultures throughout the world have long practiced polygamy -- a form of marriage consisting of more than two persons. The most common form of multiple partner marriage is polygyny, a marriage of one husband and multiple wives who are each sexually exclusive with the husband. Worldwide, Muslims are those who are most likely to be polygynous, with the highest concentrations of contemporary polygyny in the Middle East and parts of Africa. Polyandry --a marriage of one wife to multiple husbands -- is far more rare, as marriages between one woman and multiple men have received less social, political, and cultural support than have polygynous relationships.
Open
Open relationships are varied enough to be an umbrella term for consensually non-monogamous relationships based on a primary couple who are “open” to sexual contact with others. The most common form of open relationship is that of a married or long-term committed couple that takes on a third (or sometimes forth or fifth) partner whose involvement and role in the relationship is always secondary. A couple practicing this relationship type might engage in sexual activity with the secondary partner together or separate, or they may each have independent outside relationships with different secondary partners—regardless of the specific parameters, the primary couple always remains a priority. Generally rooted in specific rules, expectations, and communication between those involved, open relationships may take a variety of forms and may evolve over time as needed to meet the needs of those persons involved. Swinging, monogamish, polyamorous/polyfidelitous, and anarchistic relationships can all be considered “open.”
 
An old magazine cover reads Sex Swinger, a couple embraces on couch below.
Swinging
Among recognized or intentional forms of non-monogamy, swinging is the best known and most popular. Most broadly, swinginginvolves committed couples consensually exchanging partners specifically for sexual purposes. It is tremendously diverse, ranging from brief interactions between or among strangers at sex parties or clubs, to groups of friends who know each other andsocialize for many years. Begun as the practice of “wife swapping” among US Air Force pilots after World War II, swinging has spread across the globe and become quite popular on the Internet. Generally a heterosexually-focused sub-culture, swingers have a reputation for being much more open to “girl on girl” same-sex interaction but often explicitly reject sexual contact between men at swing clubs or parties.
Monogamish
Popularized within the last few years by Dan Savage, monogamish (link is external)relationships are those in which a couple is primarily monogamous but allows varying degrees of sexual contact with others. As with other non-monogamies, rules structuring these external sexual contacts vary by couple: Some allow only one-night stands (no second time with the same person) or only specific kinds of sexual activity (ie. kissing and groping are OK but no intercourse) and others have time (no more than a week) or location limitations (only when people are traveling or not at home).
Polyamory and Polyfidelity
Polyamory is a relationship style that allows people to openly conduct multiple sexual and/orromantic relationships simultaneously, ideally with the knowledge and consent of all involved in or affected by the relationships. Polyfidelity is similar except that it is a closed relationship style that requires sexual and emotional fidelity to an intimate group that is larger than two.Polyaffective relationships are emotionally intimate, non-sexual connections among people connected by a polyamorous relationship, such as two heterosexual men who are both in sexual relationships with the same women and have co-spousal or brother-like relationships with each other.
Relationship Anarchy
Given the anarchist nature of this relationship philosophy, it is difficult to pin down an exact definition of relationship anarchy (RA), but two themes appear regularly in the writings of people who discuss it. First, relational anarchists are often highly critical of conventional cultural standards that prioritize romantic and sex-based relationships over non-sexual or non-romantic relationships. Instead, RA seeks to eliminate specific distinctions between or hierarchical valuations of friendships versus love-based relationships, so that love-based relationships are no more valuable than are platonic friendships. Each relationship is unique and can evolve as participants require; if conflict arises, people deal with the issues or the relationship comes to an end. Because love is abundant, people can have many concurrent meaningful and loving relationships that are not limited to the couple format.
A heart shape with the anarchy symbol
Source: google images

Second, another important theme within RA is the resistance to placing demands or expectations on the people involved in a relationship. Whereas swingers and polyamorists often create specific rules and guidelines to structure their relationships, RA rejects such rules as inevitably leading to a hierarchical valuation of some partners over others. In RA, no one should have to give anything up or compromise in order to sustain a relationship; rather, it is better to amicably separate than to sustain an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship.

-- 
jagadeesh krishnan 
Psychologist and International Author
Mobile:+91-9841121780, 9543187772
EmaiL: jagadeeshkri@gmail.com
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8 Things Every Successful Woman Should Accomplish in Her Lifetime

8 Things Every Successful Woman Should Accomplish in Her Lifetime


Nowadays many people tend to live for the moment and take the line of least resistance. They usually act and behave as if they’re not afraid of an empty and purposeless life. Modern mass media and other sources of information do their best to prove people that life is made for entertainment and satisfaction only. This powerful propaganda can lead millions of young people up the garden and make them move in the wrong direction, because satisfaction is just a temporary feeling. A cherished dream to live a life of luxury makes them blind to really valuable and meaningful goals.Things Every Successful Woman Should Accomplish in Her Lifetime
I’ve also tried to lead such a pointless lifestyle, but in a quite short period of time, I realized that it was just a waste of my life energy. I was not the one who would obediently go with the stream. Communication with wise people proved me that a boring and empty life wouldn’t make me happy. They broadened my horizons and taught me to wake up every morning with a sense of purpose in my mind. Frankly speaking, it was difficult to start living a life of purpose at once, because my head was overloaded with challenging questions about the society, reality and the mission of my personality in this world. But I tried to accomplish meaningful goals regardless of everything, because I believed that both men and women had to leave a mark on history.
Read on and pay attention to the things, every beautiful woman should do in her life. I’m sure these wise pieces of advice will fill your life with new positive experiences and bring you more inner peace and satisfaction than constant parties all night long.

1. Save one’s life

It’s not necessary to be a popular superhero these days. Everyday small and insignificant acts of your kindness can save the life of a person in need. Even your frank smile can heal the soul of a seriously depressed man and motivate him to overcome the feeling of sadness.
Earlier, I was a bit cold-hearted and selfish personality. I tried to live for myself and satisfied only my personal needs. Later, extremely deep and thought-provoking movies changed my mindset. I was greatly impressed by the film “Seven Pounds”, directed by Gabriele Muccino. It taught me to give other people a helping hand without expecting to receive anything back. If you’ve at least once saved someone’s life, you might know that human life (as well as animal life!) is the most important and valuable thing. It’s very pleasant to understand that your generous actions or donations have given somebody a chance to bounce back, reconsider life and turn over a new leaf.

2. Give birth to at least two children

Although it may sound banal, every woman dreams of giving birth to a beautiful baby, because there’s nothing better in this world than being a mother. Children are the most beautiful flowers of your life. They usually bring joy and happiness, because a little baby is an inexhaustible source of healing and positive energy. The birth of a child often helps women run away from loneliness and overcome inner demons, since their love and maternal instinct are the strongest things in the world.
Unfortunately, many young women are afraid of giving birth – they’re not emotionally ready for a baby. They prefer to dedicate the most valuable and productive years of their lives to a successful career. Many of them don’t realize that this risky decision can cost them their own happiness, because workaholism can steal their health and life energy. As a result, at the age of 35, these successful business women spend huge sums of money in the hope that one day their reproductive function will be restored.

3. Plant a tree

There’re a lot of stereotypes about the role of women and men in tree planting. My brother says that tree planting and growing is a man’s affair. I don’t support this stereotype. I have a different set of values, life principles and priorities and believe that women have a special connection to nature, because they’re very sensitive creatures.
I’m fond of planting trees, flowers and vegetables – it’s an activity I feel passionate about. Sometimes, it seems I can easily interact with the nature on a sensory level. This special skill helps me open up and grow up both spiritually and mentally.
You should also find time to interact with the nature. If you have no opportunity to start a marvelous garden, then you should plant at least one tree to make both your soul and this world better.

4. Draw a self-portrait

Typically, people who’re fond of art usually choose an experienced artist to draw their portraits. Every painting is a powerful and eternal source of information, especially self-portraits. They can reveal the darkest corners and secrets of the person depicted on the canvas. Almost all successful and confident personalities have at least once made an attempt to create a self-portrait.
Have you ever thought about drawing a self-portrait? Many superstitious people believe that drawing a self-portrait is a bad idea, but I don’t believe in this superstition. You don’t have to be a professional artist to draw a self-portrait. All you have to do is put your heart into this unusual activity. You may do it in front of the mirror. It will help you notice every mole and enjoy the beauty of your eyes.
Why do people prefer to create self-portraits? I think that this activity gives them a chance to discover the essence of their inner nature and opens their eyes to many little things they have never noticed before.

5. Spend a week far from civilization

Today almost every city dweller is already sick and tired of hectic life, virtual reality and other amenities of a modern world. These people should do something, because life is too short and it will fade away in the twinkling of an eye.
If you want to be successful and maintain positive mental attitude, you should master the start-stop technique. It means you should listen to your inner voice and try not to suppress your feelings and emotions. You’re not a robot and sometimes it’s necessary to make a pause or even stop and give your body and mind an opportunity to refresh and breathe in a gulp of fresh air.
Can you imagine your life somewhere far from civilization? Doctors strongly recommend people to take a break from technology, active communication and cooperation with others at least once a year. Spend a week in a complete isolation somewhere far from the city. No one and nothing will be able to distract you from enjoying the silence and relaxing all day long.

6. Make a frantic gesture

I’ve noticed that many ladies are dreaming about miracles and adventures, but they can do nothing to overcome their fear to take a risk. They usually take long views and analyze every word, action and step in order not to make a frantic gesture. This is a typical choice of a modern, obedient and reserved person. As a result, inner walls, prejudices and stereotypes make their life completely limited, predictable and uninteresting.
Why do ladies are so afraid of a frantic gesture? Sure, it can have a short-term negative impact on your reputation, but it has always been the best therapy for diffident personalities. It can quickly boost your confidence and improve the quality of life.

7. Become a mentor

Life is the process of continual development and improvement. There’re a lot of sources of knowledge, methods and styles of learning in a modern world. But mentoring is the most effective one for both mentees and mentors. If you’re good at something, try to share your knowledge, skills and experiences with someone else. It can be your friend, workmate or a total stranger.
You don’t have to be as wise and mature as Master of Zen. Sometimes your teachings and emotional support can be quite enough to give somebody a push and help them make a confident step on the ladder to professionalism and success.

8. Find a true love

There’s no doubt that real woman will never become happy without true love – this wondrous feeling is an inevitable part of her life and nature. In the pursuit of a true love, many ladies become disheartened and lose faith in the existence of this feeling, because they often fail to sustain healthy and long-lasting loving relationships. If you don’t want to make the same mistake, you should get rid of the habit of hurrying love. This negative habit will never handle the situation, but fill your mind with obsessive thoughts and make you feel miserable.
By all means, you should focus on your self-improvement and try to lead an active lifestyle. I’m sure, one day you’ll finally feel a true love running through your veins.
No matter how you slice it, life is a wonderful thing. It’s necessary to live it to the full and try to reach goals that will make you a highly successful and beloved woman. What other things successful women should do in life? We’d like to know your point of view
by
k.jagadeesh
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8 Unusual Things to Write Down in Your Diary

8 Unusual Things to Write Down in Your Diary

Keeping a diary is a childish habit as most of us think. But in fact not only girls write something about their crushes in their diaries. Men and women can also enjoy journaling no matter how old they are. Your personal diary is a great way to spill out your emotions and note the most beautiful memories you wouldn`t like to forget about in future. If you think that keeping a personal diary is something useless and boring, here are some exciting ideas you`ll definitely like to write about…Unusual Things to Write Down in Your Diary

1. Text messages

Nowadays a huge part of our communication goes via phones. Therefore, one of the pages in your diary can be taken for special text messages. You can copy some of love letters from your crush or other texts that have a special meaning for you. This way, you`ll never forget about them and will be pleasantly surprised every time you read them.

2. Inspirational quotes

Write down all the inspirational quotes you love. They will help you cope with hard times, boost your mood, fight depression or just inspire you to live a better, happier life. Having your own collection of inspirational quotes is a surefire way to live an inspired life. This idea is perfect for creative and highly sensitive people who have trouble dealing with their thoughts and emotions.

3. Letters to yourself

You shouldn`t obviously write about every day in your diary. There`s one thing that you`ll like to write about right now. I`m talking about future letters to yourself. Just imagine how interesting it`ll be to read what you wished to yourself many years ago. You may write something for your wedding day or for some anniversary in future.

4. Pets

Do you have a pet at home? Then why not create a pet section in your diary? You may write a description of your cat, dog or some other cute creature you own. You may also make a paw print on one of the pages. It`ll be funny to draw a portrait or place a photo of your furry friend in your diary that`ll be a pleasant reminder that you have a faithful animal to love and be loved.

5. Friends’ notes

You`re not the only one who can write something in your diary. Offer your friends to make some notes in your diary too. They may write what they think about you and what they wish you. Although your personal diary is actually yours, who said your friends can’t contribute to it too? When you feel down, you can just look at their fun words and smile.

6. Make a list of your goals

Making a list of your goals is a perfect chance to see and remember what you want to get out of life. Write down everything you want now and cross off those things you succeed in. Later you`ll be able to analyze what time was the most productive for you and when you were a bit lazy or had some difficulties with self-discipline. This list will inspire to never stop and never give up.

7. Make a list of movies or books

When my friends ask me what to watch, I can`t say anything even though I know lots of interesting movies. You can make a list of books or movies you want to read or watch in your diary to avoid these uncomfortable situations. When you don`t know what to do, you will know where to find the best ideas.

8. Exercise and eating plans

If you don`t want to share your fitness and food schedules with everyone on Facebook, jot them down in your diary. Write what exercises you do and what meal plan you have now. Write down your fitness and weight loss goals to see what you need to change in your everyday routine. Food journaling is becoming more popular these days, but it’s not easy to keep two diaries, isn’t it?

Keeping a diary isn`t the latest news in modern society but anyway it can bring you lots of fun so why no do that? It doesn’t matter if you`re a teen or a grown-up woman already, your personal diary can be a pleasant reminder of the best times in your life. It`ll be so nostalgically wonderful way to look through your old notes and remember what kind of person you used to be many years ago. What other unusual things do you write in your diary
by
k.jagadeesh
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Why Monogamy Isn't



Why Monogamy Isn't

The death of compulsory monogamy and viewing monogamy as only a social good
Because monogamy is the dominant relationship form in the US today, it is pretty much taken for granted that we all know what it is, and all want to participate in it. Monogamy means not having sex with anyone else besides The One who is your partner, right? The kind of fairy tale monogamy in Disney movies entails a heterosexual love that is overwhelming and eradicates all desire for anyone but The One.
In real life, monogamy is a little more complicated. What exactly qualifies as sex can vary drastically by person and situation. In some relationships, even looking at pornography counts as cheating, and others have of a "look but don't touch" agreement that allows for porn and strip clubs. Internet communications have complicated this even further, with cameras and real time interaction bringing considerable detail to the "not touching" part. Even when they do not act on it, many people in monogamous relationships experience desire for other people outside of their marriages. 
HookUp Culture
The idea of the hook-up has spread beyond the confines of college campuses and infused the rest of the social world as another version of a possible one night stand that may or may not lead to anything else. In hookup and one night stand culture, monogamy is not something that people can safely assume and must instead be negotiated. Hookup culture lingo calls this a DTR -- define the relationship talk -- in which the people who have been hooking up negotiate a transition to real relationship status, which generally implies sexual monogamy(link is external). The attitude that monogamy is something you have to talk about, define, and agree upon means that, for many people, monogamy is no longer the unquestioned, unexamined norm that it used to be. Whether these folks choose to become monogamous, polyamorous, or something else is less important than the fact that they have a choice they must actively make. 
google
Source: google
Serial Monogamy
One of the most popular choices many people people in the US today make is serial monogamy, meaning that they partner with only one person at a time, forming one relationship and breaking up with that person before partnering again with another person. The boundaries between the end of one relationship and the beginning of another can be murky for some people, and it is fairly common for people to have some overlap as they transition from one partner to another.  
Cheating
Is monogamy a chick thing? For thousands of years in cultures across the globe it has been, and the ever-present sexual double standard means that it still is today. Part and parcel with monogamy comes the outlets for men to cheat and get away with it (or at least be forgiven if discovered), and women to be pilloried. Prostitution has always gone hand-in-hand with monogamy, and a “boys will be boys” attitude towards men’s assumed sexual voracity shows that pretty much no one expects men to be sexually monogamous. Women, on the other hand, are definitely expected to be monogamous in relationship, and being branded a slut can still hound a girl to death(link is external). 
google
Source: google
Turns out, now that the Internet has brought old flames and new conquests into everyone’s smart phone, women are having lots of affairs too. Websites like Ashley Madison(link is external) cater to anonymous online hook-ups for married people who want to have an affair, and AffiarHub(link is external) offers advice on how to cheat without getting caught. Cheating has always been around, but it has become much easier and probably more widespread with the aid of technology.
Monogamous Imperfections
In addition to cheating, lots of other heinous things happen in some monogamous relationships. Because it is the cultural norm (at least in rhetoric), most relationships have at least a veneer of monogamy. This means that most of the awful things that happen in relationships happen in monogamous families – drug addiciton and alcoholism(link is external), emotional and physical battering(link is external), incest(link is external), spousal rape(link is external), child molestation(link is external), and all manner of hideous events. Again, not every monogamous relationship is a cesspool of despair, but if there is an evil happening in a family, you can bet the monogamous folks have been there, done that. I am not saying that monogamy is evil, but rather I am saying that monogamy is not inherently good in all instances. Monogamy is as open to flaws as are other forms of relationship. 
Monogamy Isn't 
Are some people truly monogamous, in that both members of the couple only have sex with each other for the rest of their lives? Yes, absolutely, and some of them are wildly happy in satisfying and loving relationships. Others are celibate in marriages that have lost sexual spark but continue on for other reasons. 
As a cultural institution, though, monogamy is not what it used to be, with people negotiating it and then taking many opportunitities to circumvent it. Even though monogamy remains the dominant cultural ideal, it is definitely not the practice for large sections of the population. 
It is not polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy that pose a threat to monogamous relationships(link is external), but rather people’s longer life spans and higher expectations of happiness(link is external) that make them less willing to settle for unhappy relationships. Years of research evidence indicates that monogamy can be great for some people, but truly horrific for others. It is long past time that we as a society stop pretending that monogamy is an unqualified social good and recognize that, for some people and in some families, it is an abject disaster.



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jagadeesh krishnan 
Psychologist and International Author
Mobile:+91-9841121780, 9543187772
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