8 Self-Destructive Things to Avoid Saying Again
Most women tend to criticize themselves. All of us experienced the moments when it`s easier to define yourself as a miserable person when everything goes wrong. However, a strong independent woman should never do that. While it may be useful to make a constructive criticism, showering yourself with negative ‘compliments’ can completely ruin your self-esteem. Here’s what you should never say again if you want to live a happy life…
1. I’ll never be successful/beautiful/happy
Never, ever say the adverb ‘never.’ Well yes, it`s impossible for all women to be as beautiful, successful and famous as Angelina Jolie, but there are much more important things in our life than beauty and fame. It may sound ridiculous, but you may be better than any other famous woman. You may have some unique skills or traits that no one has. And finally, you can be successful and happy whenever you want – the only thing you need is your desire.
2. I don`t deserve what I have
Think you`re not good enough to have great relationships, to be promoted or to have such a lovely family? But your boss loves your projects, your boyfriend can`t live without you and your parents do their best to make your life easier. How can you say you don`t deserve it all? Of course, you do! Actually, you deserve even more than you already have.
3. Ignore me
Probably, you are having a bad day and you want to spend some time alone, but it’s not a reason to say everyone, ‘Ignore me’ or ‘Leave me alone.’ When we say it, we simply want to show that we can deal with everything ourselves. But when you say so, you admit that you`re not worth of any treatment and care. Don’t say it again as people that are ready to help love you and do take care of you, so accept that precious attention.
4. I`m fat
Okay, you need to drop some pounds, yes, but you are not fat! Telling everyone that you are fat is a self-destructive habit. If you have such a habit then get rid of it immediately. We like to exaggerate our body`s flaws, but why not embrace them? Ditch all those strict diet plans, throw away weight loss supplements and stop spending hours in the gym. Instead, start eating healthier, aim to exercise regularly and get enough sleep each night. If needed, visit your doctor or nutritionist.
5. Everything I do or say is wrong
There were times when I believed that everything I said or did was completely wrong. I tried to keep silent when it was okay to speak up. I was afraid to do a mistake because I thought everyone would judge me for it. Now that I realize that perfectionism can ruin my whole life, I’m not afraid of mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while and there`s no reason to blame yourself for every single mistake you made or will make. Regard your mistake as a life lesson and make necessary conclusions out of them. Remember that nobody`s perfect and you can`t change the past so all you need to focus on is avoiding the same gaffes in future.
6. I`m not the only one who can do that
If you think so, you`re wrong. Once you do something in your unique manner, you shouldn`t care about how would someone else act in that situation. Maybe the other person would do the same but they would never do that exactly as you did it. Just stop pretending to have no right to be proud of yourself. You have incredible things and you can do anything in your own way.
7. It`s too early or late to follow my dreams
Regardless of your age, it’s not too early or late to follow your dreams. You can start learning a new language and travel around the world in your 60s or even 70s, or on the contrary, start a business in your 20s. Life is short, so if you want to do something, don`t wait. Even if you’ll fail, at least you try. People who aren’t afraid to follow their dreams are a lot happier and more successful.
8. I`m not good enough to do that
Believe in yourself and so will the others do. When we are asked to do something we have never done before, the easiest and the worst thing we can say is “I`m not good enough to do that”. But you should at least try. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you can accomplish any difficult task and reach any unreachable goal.
Many of us think that we don’t deserve to be happy and successful. But, in fact, every person deserves everything they want – you are no exception. Focus on your positive features, abilities and skills. Following your dreams may seem to be selfish, but it`s an illusion. Is it selfish to improve and develop yourself? I don`t think so because you become wiser and happier, therefore you`re not the only one who gain profit from your self-development. What’s your ‘favorite’ self-destructive phrase to say
by
jagadeesh krishnan Psychologist and International Author
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