Everybody must be feeling like this, because understanding has two levels. One is that what I am saying is understood by your intellect; it appears logical to your intellect and your intellect thinks this must be so. This understanding is superficial. It cannot penetrate to the inner core of your being. This understanding is not from your being - it is not from your soul. It appears outwardly that you understand, and as long as you listen to me sitting here you feel you have understood completely. But then you go away from this place and the understanding begins to fade. This is so because as long as whatever has been understood is not practiced also, it cannot become a part of your being. Whatever has been understood, if it does not become assimilated in your blood, flesh and bones, it will fade away like some coloring done on an outer surface. Your entire past understanding is lying underneath that which you have now understood, and as soon as you go away from here it will begin to create conflict with this new understanding. The old understanding will fight it and push it away. The old ideas will resist the entry of the new idea, will make everything topsy-turvy, will raise thousands of doubts and objections. If you become lost in those objections and doubts, the glimpse of the new understanding will be destroyed. There is only one way - that whatsoever has been understood by the intellect should be transformed into your life energy, it should be practiced. A harmony should be created with it. It should not remain just a thought, but deep down it should become your action too. And not only your action, but your whole inner being should become recreated by it. Only then slowly, slowly what has reached the surface will go deeper in you and become a practiced truth which your old ideas won't be able to destroy. Rather, because of its presence, the old ideas will slowly recede and vanish on their own. So this is right - this is a natural question for a seeker. Although we understand, we remain as we were. And if we remain as we were, this new understanding will not last for long. Where, in what space can it stay? If you remain the same old person, all the new understanding will be eliminated, soon forgotten. And this is the way you have understood many times, this is not the first time. Many times you have turned back from the very doorstep of truth. Many times you have found the door and it was only a matter of knocking when again you have moved away towards the wall. This is where an error is made, that whatever is understood is not immediately translated into life. In this context it is worth remembering that if someone calls you names you become angry immediately, but if someone gives you an understanding of truth you do not begin meditations immediately. If anything wrong is to be done we do it immediately; if something good is to be done we think about it. Both of these are very deep tricks of the mind, because whatsoever is to be done can be done only if it is done immediately - whether it is a question of being angry or doing meditation it does not matter. We want to express the anger, hence we do it immediately. We do not even wait for a moment, because if we wait we will not be able to do it
by
k.jagadeesh 
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